Seriously, get over it. Most of you carrying on are not even of the age to have liked Michael Jackson. I just saw this shirt on teh internets and lol'd, and seriously, should we even be mourning MJ? Wasn't he kinda like, a predator?
And I was less likely to get assaulted and robbed becuase the better lighting would make it more likely that the potential assailant would be seen by a potential witness
And that the hypothetical witness would be better able to ID the hypothetical criminal because the hypothetical witness would be able to see his face better because of the better lighting.
And besides there is probably something cooler at the end of this road
Cause otherwise people would take the one less traveled more.
And if it was unkempt
Perhaps a neighborhood group or a kiwi lodge or an AFW Hall or convicted felons would do an adopt-a road-type of deal and make it cleaner.
So this blog does not usually cover fashion, but every once in awhile something so colossally awesome comes out that is becomes necessary to cover it. Such is the case with U.S. Arounds, by Cordarounds, an online clothing company that's based in a gargantuan, pant-shaped blimp that hovers above San Francisco and only sold online. As the cordarounds e-mail release says about U.S. Arounds:
"Made in America and made for Americans only, these are, without a doubt, the most patriotic pants ever made."
Tough to disagree. These pants would be perfect for any 4th of July Bar-Be-Que, not only because they were "Hand-stitched by the loving, spectral fingers of Betsy Ross' ghost," but also cause they are dark colored and would hide BBQ sauce lap spills well.
Coming in at $90 USD these pants are well worth their seemingly recession-proof price, although maybe a stretch for some of us who have not found jobs this summer (is it just me or is that like half the people you know? h8 u bad economie.)
As an owner of a pair of the original cordarounds (the wales of the corduroy go horizontal instead of vertical) I can attest to the care and quality with which these cool cool pants were made. And they have neat-o rill deep pockets that you can keep like a whole backpack's worth of stuff in.
So rest assured, if you see me at any sweet BBQs this summer, I will be sporting the coolest pants this great country has ever produced, U.S. Arounds. God bless America.
I just bought the [highly] bloggable album Bitter Orchestra by the Dirty Projectionists from a very independent record store. Bitter Orchestra is the most hyped record in a long time, probs since Veckatimessedup.
I don't know that Bitter Orca lives up to the buzz. For one, I can't really understand a lot of the lyrics, which I'm sure are tremendously profound since the main bro went to Yale College and probably has an intelligent and enlightened worldview. Am I projecting? Does going to an elite private university, when you probably padded your resume in h.s. with stupid shit that you didn't care about like feeding homeless people or traveling to a thrid world country and taking pictures of poors to post on facebook, make you a better songwriter than say a bro who never went to college?
Regardless, Bitter Orchestra is good but doesn't warrant how hard people have been on it's dick. It's definitely original sounding though, and it sounds sincere and genuine. I don't pick up any irony in the sometimes heavy lyrics. The best lyrics are the simplest ones, such as, "Kiss me with your mouth open," from the song Two Doves. I liked hearing people trying hard and not being self-conscious about it.
Da other thing is this album is pretty low key. I was kinda hoping for a banger in there somewhere.
I just want to like this band. I just want to like this band and be able to bring them up at parties, and impress kute indie girls. I just want to find meaning through intricately constructed music.
Also, tomorrow (Saturday) is the Philebrity/Popped! Music Festival at the Piazza in Northern Liberties. I am going, and recommend others do as well, if for no other reason than to see TuPhace, a local hip hop artist who is extremely talented and plays an awesome live show. He plays at 2 (according to the schedule.)
PHILADELPHIA- The Phillies recently finished a home series against the Red Sox of Boston, losing two out of the three baseball matches. As if that wasn't bad enough, Citizens' Bank Park was infested with Red Socks fans for those three days. Now, I hate a lot of things in this world, but not much is coming to mind that I hate more than Sox fans in the Phillies stadium. Like hello? This ain't yo home, stfu. There are a number of reasons Red Sox fans are the scourge of the species, let me enumerate:
1. Red Sox fans are all white people. In fact I believe the Red Sox are listed in the popular list/book/meme Stuff White People Like. There are two reasons for the lack of diversity among Sox fans: a) Boston generally doesn't allow minorities to live there, and b) the Red Sox fans have created such a stiflingly white culture it is probably uncomfortable or inaccessible for darkies. 2. Most of y'all wasn't even Red Sox fans before 2004 and now you all have been fans forever.Dude you're from Malvern. 2.a) Just 'cause your Sawx hat is faded doesn't mean it's old. 2.b) It's pronounced Sox, Socks. Not Sawx, you pronounce every other word correctly man, goddam. 3. All Red Sox fans are incredibly average. Curved hats, polo shirts, modest beer bellies, khaki shorts and docksiders. For the women, straight brown hair, polo shirts and jeans with white sneakers. And a Sawx hat of course, with the hair through a ponytail in the back. 4. I think Red Sox fans used to be cool/authentic when the team wasn't really that good and they didn't have a ton of hangers-on who labeled themselves a nation. I think they used to expect failure and resign themselves to inadequacy, and hey if they won a little, awesome, but it probably won't last. That's an attitude I can understand and support. That is completely gone. R.I.P. cool Red Sox fans. 5. The Sox used to be the underdogs, the anti-Yankees, but when you start buying players just like the Yankees do, you just become the mini-Yankees. For each Papelbon they have they have a Daisuke or a J.D. Drew. 5. a) Don't get me started on J.D. Drew.
So there you have it. I'm just a bro who hates Red Sox fans and doesn't want to get puked on. It's a simple existence really.
Oh man oh man it is morning at night or maybe night at morning. It's a thunderstorm downtown. It's so dark it's like night, with lightning that lights up the sky that's so dark it's like night. And the rain is so powerful and it's coming down, just falling down out of the sky like an infinite small waterfall.
But it's so dark the lights in the restaurants make them look so inviting, like refuges from the storm. But there's so much power, and electricity, and energy in the air space that it's impossible not to pick up some of it through my lightning rods like fingers, ears, and elbows. So I don't understand the few people walking around who look like the living, walking, dead. Morning at night. People are huddled under the eaves of churches, waiting until there's less incredible rain in those incredible clouds that's really just one cloud, sitting below the sky but above the buildings, covering the whole city, one giant, charcoal cloud.
I sat in the car with my mom. She pulled over even though we were downtown, and not on the highway. And we had a "moment" or at least I did in my head. With the rain beating the windshield and roof of the car, LOUD, we listened to Frank Sinatra on her old person AM radio station. We sat there craning our necks to look out the windshield at the buildings and the lightning through the rain. The buildings which define our city, which, in part defines us, listening to the music of her childhood, now with her own child, more or less grown, in the same city as her childhood, sharing experiences that maybe have not changed that much, in the car, in the pounding rain in the same old dirty, sick, dirty, terminally ill city, not dead but dying, a city in a hospital on support, with funding tubes in its arms, a reality morphine drip to squeeze when things get too ugly.
It's clearing up now. Things are getting brighter. More people are out. It feels like a catharsis after a powerful experience. It feels like laying in bed after you've had sex. The energy and electricity are gone from the air, replaced by calm nothing.
A look at the financial crisis, and the remedy, from noted theorist and friend TSwann (pronounced like Tsar).
$2,500,000,000,000
By Tyler Swann
We the people (Read: the government (editor's note: the democratically elected representative government chosen by the majority of the nation)) have just spent $2,500,000,000,000 on bailouts of all sorts. Whether those bailouts were the right remedy for our current economic mess is a debate for another day. Today I want to take a minute to think about that number that’s already down the tubes: two-point-five trillion. Let’s be honest, neither you nor I really have an idea how big that number is, but I’ll give it my best shot. To start, I’ve got to quote my boy Mitch McConnell (R-Ky): “To put a trillion dollars in context, if you spend a million dollars every day since Jesus was born (editor's note: Mitch McConnell would find a way to stick Jesus in there somewhere), you still wouldn't have spent a trillion.” Now multiply that by two and a half. Damn son. Maybe you’re more of a Buddha or Muhammad guy, but that’s a lot of dough.
For all the Penn students reading this, you could put about 12,500,000 kids through four years at school with that much cash. According to the EPA— though I have no idea how or why—a human life is worth approximately $6.9 million (editor's note: seriously only a Wharton student would use the dollar quantification of a human life as a source of evidence for a point). You could buy (?) 36,000. In the market for a good military conflict? Not only could you get an Iraq war, you could get 3 and a half! Since the point of the money is to stimulate the economy, let’s think for a second about productivity. On the agreement of his release from prison, Michael Vick is working a $10 an hour construction job to help ease his dog-slaughtering self back into civilized society. Even factoring in overtime pay (A brother’s got to pay the bills), you could hire his services for 19 million years straight. Alternatively, you could buy Mexico’s entire GDP (Chalupas on the house!) and throw in all of Australia’s too for good measure.
So what does this really mean to you? I think the most telling statistic is that this sum of money divides to $8,200 for every man, woman, and child in the US and that figure is growing in both principal and interest. It shouldn’t come as a shock that Uncle Sam is going to be looking to a certain generation to pick up the tab. Now I’m not suggesting you downgrade that grande mocha twist frappucinno to tall on your next run to Starbucks, but just keep in mind that that big bill is looming, and it isn’t going away.
CAIRO-President Barack Obama made a stunning speech before 3,000 people at Cairo University in Cairo this Thursday 04.06.09. In the speech he stressed that the United States and the Islamic world are not at war, just like parts of it. Most importantly, Obama revealed the fact that he is, contrary to the belief of the mainstream left-wing media, a practicing Muslim.
Barack chillin with his cousin Faroud Obama, President of Sauidi Arabia
The text from the introduction to Obama's speech below: وأود أن أغتنم هذه الفرصة لأقول للعالم العربي والشعب في الداخل ، وآمل على الرغم من أنهم لا يستطيعون فهم هذا ، وأنا دائما ، والذي يعرض نفسه لإرادة الله. الله اكبر.
A rough translation: I would like to take this opportunity to say to the Arab world and to the people at home, although I hope they can't understand this, that I am and have always been, one who subjects himself to the will of Allah. Allah akbar. Allah is great.
Many were surprised at the President's candor. Although a good number of people have believed this for quite some time, few thought Obama would ever publicly admit it, and that he would just continue to take "breaks" five times a day for unspecified reasons. Many in attendance were also surprised at the President's perfect Arabic pronunciation. One man who could be reached for comment though, was not fazed. JospephMaincotton, below, had this to say, "I mean we all knew it before he got elected. But the gays and vegetarians voted for him anyway. It's no surprise this country is going to hell. Heck, Sarah Palin, God bless her, very nearly came out and said it publicly. Anybody with brains knew this guy was a closet Muslim. And you know what else? The people who voted for him probably won't even be upset by this, these people will volunteer to kill themselves just to appease the A-rabs."
Joseph Maincotton: Sometimes it sucks being right.
Obama went on to say that despite the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, and its unmalleable, unquestioned support of Israel over Palestine, the United States is a strong ally of the Arab world. In support of this statement, both Obama and Vice-President Hilary Clinton donned "traditional Arab clothes" during segments of their trip.
Brobama (left) "dressing like the natives," Hilary doing the same, or maybe just like an elderly Jewish woman, tough to tell.
It is interesting to see how the speech will play around the world. Certainly it will be better than Bush. To start with, Obama mentioned "Palestine" instead of the Bush doctrine of referring to the "Palestinian territories" or "the place that shall not be mentioned," indicating support for the idea that Palestine is actually a place, which should exist. But as many have said, judgment on the Obama Administration's Middle East policy will not be decided on speeches but on the action they carry out and the objectives reached or failed. But today was a good start in bridging gaps and proving right hundreds of thousands of conspiracy theorists.
Obama supporters watch the President's speech in tense silence.
It's so hard to form a concrete opinion on Flo. And usually I'm so good at that. ICYHBWTALL Flo is the star of the series of Progressive Auto Insurance commercials. She combines a tremendous amount of enthusiasm about saving people money with a witty repartee with customers, as well as a subliminal sexuality that makes those 30 seconds between the banality of other commercials pop. If my description is lacking, see for yourself:
Flo's real name is Stephanie Courtney. Having two first names aside, she seems to have led a kinda boring pre-Flo life. She's from Stony Point, New York, which is I guess not New York City. She was in the Groundlings improv group in Los Angeles, which is famous in the improv world, although personally I don't believe that creativity exists in Los Angeles, or outside the East Coast really. She's 39. She just got married in November (booo!!!) to the lighting director of Groundlings as well. She has been a second rate stand up comedian. She's been in a couple of movies and shows including Mad Men and Cavemen and couple of other commercials. She has said about her cult following, which have called her things like 'babelicious,' "That is so weird." She said it takes about two hours to put on her makeup to do the commericials. Because of her adoring following, she has been signed for another year to do the commercials (yessssss). That is the last I will speak of Stephanie Courtney, because I do not want to think of her as a real person. To me she is just Flo, for better or for worse.
Flo is incredible in that she is able to walk the line between cute and annoying, frequently both. Some of the commercials she bubbles with personality, such as when she adds, "I wrote that myself" at the end of the above. But other times she's just annoying, and you wish Flo could just stop shouting or being so damn enthusiastic about being a cashier. At an insurance company. I mean, really. But there's something more, something deeper about Flo. There's a reason why she has a cult internet following, and probably a way bigger IRL following. It's Flo's inchoate sexuality. She's hot. Or is she? Isn't she really kind of ugly? No, she's definitely hot sometimes. No, but come on, seriously? Flo?! Flo? Flo.
Flo provokes such mixed reactions, prose alone cannot comprehend her, so I wrote a poem.
Flo I can't get you out of my mind When you come on after a smooth driving Lexus Or talking puppets Or that guy with creepy long hair that draws on whiteboards for UPS Or cavemens
Flo get out of my head It is not okay that you were in my dream the other night Flo stop talking Your voice is brittle and shrill
Your modish headband and garish lipstick make me swoon
Your clever comments light my fire
You should bottle your personality and sell it
Make it a brand that people could identify with the great name of Progressive
Flo your arms are fat And you're old And just shut up already And, like, ew.
My take on it is that it is pretty chill. I like listening to it. It's not revolutionary or new really even, at all, but enjoyable nonetheless. It reminds me of another, not so hyped-but-actually-pretty-similar band, The French Kicks. Specifically the song Two Weeks is basically a dead ringer for the song Piano from the French Kicks album One Time Bells, or their Young Lawyer EP. Like the beginnings of the two songs especially, if you listen to the first 30-45 seconds.
On Veckatimest, I like the music in the song Dory but I don't like how Droste pronouces the words. He sounds British, but brah, you're from Massachusettes, chill, soundin extra pretentious.
I do wonder how much of the phenomenon that is Grizzly Bear is deserved. Could it be that for whatever reason they got tagged as a "cool" band, and that because of that people choose to like their music before they have heard it, because when they're with people they want to impress or become friends/secret crushes with they'd like to be able to talk about The Greazy Bears and have a connection with that person/people and also demonstrate their "coolness" by liking the Grizzles? And the fact that Grizzly Bear is easy to listen to, and pretty unobjectionable, in that what is there really to dislike makes it easier for these people to like GB. And an extension of that, how much of our music taste is comprable? Is all the music we listen to an extension of how we want to be perceived by others? Do we decide to like music that will make us fit in with a certain group of people? How come people who love country music all live in the south/midwest? How come people who like rap all live in the hood/suburbs? How come all the people who like DJ mashups all live on the internet (no offense Noah)?
Lolz. [via okayplayer]. This video was made by Kno of the popular hip-hop group The CunniLynguists. It is a play off Kanye's song "Amazing", and sounds remarkably similar. In the spirit of the NBA finals (R.I.P. LeBron) I'll post it. It's seriously funny.
Two roads diverge in a wood
So this blog does not usually cover fashion, but every once in awhile something so colossally awesome comes out that is becomes necessary to cover it. Such is the case with U.S. Arounds, by Cordarounds, an online clothing company that's based in a gargantuan, pant-shaped blimp that hovers above San Francisco and only sold online. As the cordarounds e-mail release says about U.S. Arounds:
Tough to disagree. These pants would be perfect for any 4th of July Bar-Be-Que, not only because they were "Hand-stitched by the loving, spectral fingers of Betsy Ross' ghost," but also cause they are dark colored and would hide BBQ sauce lap spills well.
As an owner of a pair of the original cordarounds (the wales of the corduroy go horizontal instead of vertical) I can attest to the care and quality with which these cool cool pants were made. And they have neat-o rill deep pockets that you can keep like a whole backpack's worth of stuff in.
